《有說有笑》〈肆〉實例─錯風

風馬牛不相及。風,意思就是異性之間發情時的挑逗相誘,只是馬和牛不同種,相誘的訊息便不能互相通達,縱使相對而視,散發的風也無以吸引對方。明明是同一回事,我以為你是牛,你以為我是馬,牛言對答馬語,竟也耗了一段對話,相方才發現原來搭錯線。

不是啦,我是在說另一件事!」這句話很少人沒有說過。沒辨法,生命有限,時間寶貴,只要我以為你大概知道我要說甚麼,我便省時地略過背景交代,直接把重點說出來。有時心思相通有湊效,有時別有所思就見誤會。

抓住這種一語相關的誤會,然後拿著起碼兩曲或以上的標準尺,繞著一個話題,幾個人輪流說話。每句話,自然必須以其獨特的標準尺來衡估。造笑話的人,小心隱含著「掩眼點」,把故事向迴異的方向發展。拿捏得當,自然惹起欣賞者重頭回憶流程,追尋掩眼點的分裂妙處。

一位千金小姐到餐館享用午餐,突然她激動地把侍者叫來,指著她的忌廉湯問:「這麼大隻死蒼蠅死在湯上,這是甚麼意思?」侍者有禮地回答:「不好意思,這我不太瞭解,但我去叫財嬸過來,他學過一點占卜。」

「這是甚麼意思」這句話就是關鍵的轉捩點。演說者腦中必須存在雙重意義的發展可能性,而這卻很容易讓演說者嘀答嘀答跳來跳去的意識,在演說的一刻自然流露出那一剎意識的一邊,譬如說成偏向侍者的「這個徵象暗示了甚麼」、或是偏向顧客的「這是甚麼代客之道?」這樣就無法成功分捩成一語雙鵰的結局。

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